Jokes about Sport for kids that are safe

A picture of a dog doing bench presses. Text reads sports jokes for kids.

If you’re looking for general sport jokes for kids, this is a great post with sections containing various jokes and puns. There is no specific order for the jokes, and they are just randomly written. So you can browse the list below and use the ones you like.

Baseball jokes

What does baseball have in common with pancakes?
They both rely on the batter

What do you get when you cross a baseball pitcher with a carpet? 
A throw rug.

What did the baseball player do when the coach said to steal second?
He stole the base and went home.

Where does a baseball player go when he needs a new uniform?
New Jersey.

Where should a baseball player never wear red?
In the bull pen

What do baseball players eat on?
Home plates

Why don’t baseball players join unions?
Because they don’t like to be called out on strikes

Why are baseball players so rich?
Because they play on diamonds

When should baseball players wear armor?
When they play knight games

Which takes longer to run: from first to second base or from second to third base?
From second to third base, because there is a shortstop in the middle.

Why did the baseball team hire a cook?
They needed a good batter.

Why is a baseball umpire like an angry chicken?
They both have foul mouths

Why is it bad to play basketball with a pig?
Because it will always hog the ball

What would you get if you crossed a basketball with a newborn snake?
A bouncing baby boa.

Where does a bat go to get clean?
The Bat Tub

Why was the baseball player at the store?
For a sales pitch.

How did the basketball court get wet?
The players dribbled all over it

Football jokes

Why didn’t the dog want to play football?
It was a boxer

Which insect didn’t play well in goal?
The fumble bee

When fish play football, who is the captain?
The team’s kipper

Why is it that birds are quickly sold when they come up on the transfer market?
They tend to go cheep

How do you stop squirrels playing football in the garden?
Hide the ball, it drives them nuts

Why should you be careful playing against a team of big cats?
They might be cheetahs

Why aren’t football stadiums built in outer space?
Because there is no atmosphere

Which goal keeper can jump higher than a crossbar?
All of them, a crossbar can’t jump

Why did the football player hold his boot to his ear?
Because he liked sole music

What tea do football players drink?

Where do footballers dance?
At a footBALL

What did the bumble bee striker say?
Hive scored

What are Brazilian fans called?
Brazil nuts

What lights up a football stadium?
A football match

If you have a referee in football, what do you have in bowls?

How do hens encourage their football teams?
They egg them on

Why do grasshoppers not go to many football games?
They prefer cricket games

Why did the chicken get sent off?
For persistent fowl play

Various  sport jokes

Where do old bowling balls end up?
In the gutter

What did they call Dracula when he won the league?
The champire

What is a tennis player’s favorite city?
Volley wood

How does a physicist exercise?
By pumping ion

Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student?
Because education pays off in the long run

What is a runner’s favorite subject in school?

Who won the race between two balls of string?
They we’re tied

Where do religious school children practice sports?
in the prayground

Tennis jokes

How many tennis players you need to change a light bulb?
0 Because they always say ” What do you mean it was out?! It was in!

Where do ghosts play tennis?
On a tennis corpse

Why the tennis player charged the net?
She ran out of cash

What is the most depressing thing about tennis?
You will never be as good as a wall

What time does Andy Murray usually go to bed?

How long does a British tennis last?
When it’s Wimbel-done

Why is it good to stand on the service line?
Because you can order ice cream

Jokes menu

Holiday jokes

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