32 Funny Football Jokes for Kids

Football is one of the most popular sports in the United States. While it’s a serious game, that doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun with it.

Below we share a list of funny football jokes for kids. These clean humored jokes can be shared anywhere. Send them with your child to tell at school. Include one in their lunch to read for some midday humor.

If you are a teacher, feel free to share them with the children in the classroom.

Football Jokes for Kids

A picture of a football player and a dog with the joke "Why didn't the dog want to play football?"

1. Why didn’t the dog want to play football?
Answer

It was a boxer!

2. Which insect didn’t play well in the goal?
Answer

The fumble bee!

3. When fish play football, who is the captain?
Answer

The team’s kipper!

A picture of a football player and a squirrel with the joke "How do you stop squirrels playing football in the garden?"

4. How do you stop squirrels playing football in the garden?
Answer

Hide the ball, it drives them nuts!

5. Why should you be careful playing against a team of big cats?
Answer

They might be cheetahs!

6. Why aren’t football stadiums built in outer space?
Answer

Because there is no atmosphere!

A picture of two football players with the joke "Which quarterback can jump higher than a crossbar?"

7. Which quarterback can jump higher than a crossbar?
Answer

All of them, a crossbar can’t jump!

8. Why did the football player hold his boot to his ear?
Answer

Because he liked sole music!

9. What tea do football players drink?
Answer

PenalTEA!

A picture of three football players with the joke on the picture saying "where do footballers dance?"

10. Where do footballers dance?
Answer

At a footBALL!

11. What did the bumble bee runningback say after he scored a touchdown?
Answer

Hive scored!

12. What are Brazilian football fans called?
Answer

Brazil nuts!

Two football players with the joke "What lights up a football stadium?"

13. What lights up a football stadium?
Answer

A football match!

14. How do hens encourage their football teams?
Answer

They egg them on!

15. Why do grasshoppers not go to many football games?
Answer

They prefer cricket games!

16. Why did the chicken get sent off?
Answer

For persistent fowl play!

17. Why can’t football players wear glasses on the field?
Answer

Because it’s a contact sport

18. What happens to football players if they become blind?
Answer

They become referees

19. When should football players wear armor?
Answer

When they play a knight game

20. What did the football said to the punter?
Answer

I get a kick out of you

21. What do football players wear on Halloween?
Answer

Face masks

22. Which state should the Tampa bay buccaneers move to?
Answer

Arrrrrrkansas

23. Why did the super star running back could NOT listen to music?
Answer

Because he broke all the records

24. Where do quarterbacks go to dance?
Answer

Foot Balls

25. What is the most sneaky play in football?
Answer

The quarterback sneak

26. Why using a payphone in the old days was like playing football?
Answer

Because if you didn’t get your quarter back you hit the receiver

27. What is the favorite ice cream flavor of football players?
Answer

Any Given Sunday

28. Which football player wear the biggest helmet?
Answer

The one with the biggest head

29. How do football player deal with their problems?
Answer

They tackle them head-on

30. What did the player say to the flight attended when boarding?
Answer

Put me in, coach!

31. Which insect doesn’t know how to play football?
Answer

The fumble bee

32. Why did the football left the team?
Answer

He was tired of being kicked around

In Summary

There you have it, 16 hilarious football jokes for kids. Which one was your favorite? Were you able to get some laughs from your child? Please share these jokes with others.

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